Circus Oasis
by Goddess Shinigami
Summary: The continuation of A Simple Observation. . .this is set three years after the ending of A.S.O, but you don't have to read A.S.O to read this fic. Duo and Heero are going through some hard times. When Duo walks out, what will happen to their relationship?
1. Pain and a Broken Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Gundam Wing or associated with it. So that means don't sue me for writing this fic  
  
  
Circus Oasis:Part One  
By, Goddess Shinigami  
  
  
Duo had been down this beaten road a million times. He and Heero had been together for some time now. It happened almost every night. He would try and kiss Heero or hug him or anything affectionate while Heero was doing something on his laptop and he would get enraged and lash out. Duo usually ended up with a few bruises or a bloody nose. Heero would always apologize afterwards, but Duo knew he never really meant it. This was one of the worse times Heero had beaten him. Heero had dislocated his shoulder. A first on Heero's part, he had never managed to hurt the violet eyed boy that much before.  
  
Duo sat on the floor, on the verge of tears, trying not to let Heero see that he was in pain. Heero, seeing what he had done immediately walked over and wrenched Duo's shoulder back into place. Then, Duo did cry, the pain was too much for him. "I am sorry Duo, but you should know better by now." Heero scolded and apologized at the same time. "No, I cannot accept your apology this time Heero. You've hurt me for so long. I just can't take it anymore." Duo said still sobbing from the pain in his shoulder. What have I done? Heero thought as Duo walked out the door.  
  
Duo wondered the streets trying to think of what he was going to do now. I've left Heero and our apartment. What can I do now? He thought as he walked down a deserted ally. He found himself walking into a little bar off in the corner of the ally. He ordered three Dark and Stormys and sat down in a booth away from the bar. Well, if I can't stop thinking about Heero maybe this alcohol would help me. Duo thought downing the first glass.  
  
Soon two men had walked over to Duo's booth and sat down across from the drunk boy. "How are ya tonight." One of them said clearly noting that Duo was drunk. Duo eyed them suspiciously "Who are you?" he asked slurring his words. The two men laughed. "Say do you wanna come with us?" the other man asked. Anything is better than where I was, I guess. Duo thought as he nodded his head and shakily got up.  
  
The two men took Duo to a hell hole of an apartment and commenced to getting Duo some more alcohol. Duo's brain was so clouded he didn't know what was going on. They brought him a beer. He thought it was odd they had already opened it for him, but he didn't give anymore thought to it as he drank it in one gulp.  
  
After about ten minutes of talking, the men could tell the drug they had put in Duo's drink had taken affect. Duo had fallen into a semi-unconscious state. He could feel the men taking off his clothes. I need to get out of here. If I don't they will...they will ... oh my God! Duo thought as one of the men shoved himself into him, causing Duo to cry out in pain, as he thrust himself in and out. This made the other man laugh, as the other man pulled himself out of the braided pilot. "Don't cry my pretty, It will be over soon." He said mockingly as he began to have his way with Duo. It will be over soon. Duo kept thinking to himself as the other man finished with a satisfied sigh. Duo could feel blood trickle down his leg. He was hurting all over. The two men drug him back out to the ally and threw him to the side along with his clothing. Duo fell completely into unconsciousness.  
  
Duo awoke in an unfamiliar room. He knew what had happened. Someone must have found him in the alley, felt sorry for him, and took him in. He took in his surroundings. He noticed that he was in some sort of tent. That was rather unusual. Soon two people walked into the room. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing so they would think he was still out. "Trowa, who is this boy?" Catherine asked concerned for her brother's safety. "I'm not quite sure, but I know I know him from somewhere. Maybe when he's cleaned up I'll recognize him." Trowa said sitting in a chair beside Duo's bed. "OK Trowa, but be careful." Catherine said leaving the room. Oh, this is just great. I leave Heero, get drunk, get drugged, get raped, and now Trowa, of all people, has saved me. Duo thought sarcastically.  
  
He slowly opened his eyes, noticing, to his amazement, that he wasn't hungover. "Oh, so your awake." Trowa said looking him over. "Yeah, but I wish I wasn't." Duo said still in much pain from his ordeal the night before. "Do you mind telling me who you are?" Trowa said still not knowing who this brown haired boy was. "You mean you don't know?" Duo asked. "You seem very familiar, but I don't recognize the face." Trowa said examining the boy trying to figure out who he was. "I'll give you a hint: I was with Heero." Duo stated annoyed that Trowa didn't recognize him. "Oh My God, Duo! What happened to you?" Trowa said shocked "Its a long story." Duo said matter-of-factly. "Oh, will you tell me sometime?" Trowa asked. What could have happened to him, if I didn't even recognize him it must have been bad. "May I take a shower?" Duo asked feeling very dirty. "Sure, it's right around the corner." Trowa said watching him leave.  
  
I can't tell Trowa what happend to me. If i tell him he might take pity on me. I don't want to be pitied, but hasen't he alredy took pity on me by taking me in? Duo thought as he stepped into the shower turning on the water. "Oh, shut up, Baka, you think too much!" Duo said to himself aloud as he undid his braid. He reached for the shampoo and smelled it. Hmm...honey? Trowa, I would have never guessed! Duo thought rinsing his hair out.  
  
*~Meanwhile~*  
  
"Trowa, have you found out who that boy is yet?" Cathy asked heatedly "Yeah, it's Duo, pilot 02." Trowa stated calmly "I will not allow it! I refuse to let you get involved with those Gundam pilots again. Trowa you almost died! Your not going to do that again!" she yelled "Look, Cathy, he looks like he's been through hell. I intend to find out what happend to him." Trowa said "Fine, but you have to pomise me that as soon as you do, he leaves." she said not wanting Trowa to be influenced by this pilot. "I can't gaurentee that. I am going to let him stay as long as he wants or needs to. So don't bring up the subject again." Trowa said commandingly. "I don't...fine." She said Trowa you won't get mixed up with the Gundam's again. She thought.  
  
Duo walked into the room where he had woken up. He didn't want to put on the clothes he had on before. So he tightened the towel around his waist and went to find Trowa. "Trowa! Where are you, man? Trowa!" Duo yelled throught the circus tent. "I'm right here, Duo." Trowa said. Duo looked in the direction the voice had come from. Trowa was sitting in one of the lion's cages brushing it's hair. "Hey, can I borrow some clothes?" Duo asked tentavily "Yeah, sure. They're in the trunk of the room you in." He said still brushing away. "Say Trowa, How did you find me?" Duo asked curiously looking down at the floor. "I was on my way to the grocery store and that alley is a short cut." Trowa stated "Oh, well I guess I'll go get dressed now." He said fingering the top of the towel at his waist and walking away.  
  
I have to find out what heppened to him. Those brusies on his arms look like handprints. I wonder how it happened. I will ask him later. Maybe then he'll be ready to talk. Trowa thought as he walked out of the cage to go meet Catherine for tea.  



	2. Mending Some Wounds

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Gundam Wing or associated with it. So that means don't sue me for writing this fic  
  
AN: This part is kinda 3x2 Trowa and Duo. Don worry though everything will work out in the end. K?   
  
Circus Oasis: Part 2  
By Goddess Shinigami  
  
Duo walked into the room he had awoke in. He easily found the trunk and fished out some boxers, jeans and a t-shirt. He put them on and sat down on the bed. "What was I thinking leaving Heero like that?" He asked aloud. He laid back and looked up through the small worn holes in the ceiling of the tent. It was warm there. Weather in the colonies was never bad. 'How could I even think I could escape that abuse? I'm such an idiot. I miss him already.' He thought closing his eyes. "I'm just going to end up going back to him in the end I know it and then it will be just like it was all over again." He cried to himself. Duo curled up in a ball and cried himself into a nap.  
  
Trowa and Catherine returned from tea just as the Ringmaster was calling for everyone to meet him in the big top. "Oh, great what does the high and mighty ringmaster want now?" Catherine asked sarcastically. "Cathy, come on. He's not that bad. Let's just go and get it over with." Trowa said quietly walking along the path that lead into the big top. They entered on the right side of the tent seeing everyone gathered around in a circle intently listening. "Tonight's performance has been cancelled due to a lack of ticket sales. So everyone get some rest and be ready for tomorrow. Thank you." He concluded and then briskly walked out of the tent. "Oh, that's good. We don't have to perform tonight." Trowa said starting to the other side of the big top. "Where are you going?" Catherine asked watching him walk away. "To talk to Duo." He said simply and walked out of her range.  
  
Trowa walked through the halls towards his room. I wonder if Duo is even there. Maybe he left. If he did where did he go? Trowa thought reaching the flap to his room. He walked in to find Duo curled up in a tight ball shivering, asleep. Trowa walked over and grabbed a blanket from the trunk and covered Duo completely tucking the edges in around him. Trowa sat down on his trunk and watched. There was nothing he could do for him right now.   
  
Duo was dreaming or rather having a very bad nightmare. The men who had raped him were back. They wanted more. " Your were great. Our pretty little prince." They sing-songed in Duo's ear as he watched them advance on him. He couldn't move. He was so afraid. Suddenly something warm embraced him and the bad men were gone. All that was left was a white nothingness that seemed to seep love and kindness.   
  
Trowa couldn't watch Duo shivering and looking so scared anymore. He walked over and picked up the shivering boy holding him as tight as he could watching the fear fade from his face as he drifted into a blissful sleep. Trowa laid him back down on the bed watching for anymore signs of nightmares as the day wore on. Duo had slept for around three hours when he finally awoke to a nervous Trowa watching him from across the room. "What?" He asked casually sitting up. "You were having a bad dream." Trowa stated. " Oh. Well I'm fine, now" He assured Trowa.   
  
After about ten minutes of uninterrupted tense silence Trowa asked a simple question. "Duo, what happened to you the other night when I found you?" He said with an unsteady voice. Duo looked down at his hands and a few tears rolled down his cheeks. 'Trowa looks concerned, but would he understand. Could he be ready to hear what had happened to me?' Duos thought watching the brown haired boy close his eyes in frustration, but stayed patient. "I. . .I left Heero." Duo stated as the first of the events. "You have already told me that, but why did you leave Heero?" Trowa questioned further. "I. . .he. . .it wouldn't. . .he constantly beat me. . .and. . .and I couldn't take it anymore. . .so I left." Duo said more tears streaming down his face. Trowa couldn't take seeing Duo like this. He was usually so happy and vibrant. He took Duo in his arms and just held him until the battered God of Death had stopped crying. "But. . .but how did you get these other bruises? Are they from Heero, too?" he asked tenderly. "No, . .. no they're not from Heero." Duo started sobbing again. His tears sliding down his cheeks and onto Trowa's shirt. "Then who?" Trowa had to know who did this to his friend. "Two men I met at a bar. . ." Duo trailed off into more sobs. "What did they do to you, Duo." Trowa asked pulling the violet eyed boy closer. "They. . .they. . .they. . .they drugged. . .me. . .and. . .then. . .then. . .they. . . they. . .raped me. .." Duo said between sobs.  
  
Trowa's heart sank into the depths of his body and his cheat began to hurt. 'How could someone do this to Duo?' he asked himself cradling the beautiful boy in his arms. "Pl. . .please. . .don't pity me." Duo said looking up into Trowa's green eyes 'Pretty eyes.' Duo thought waiting for Trowa's reply. "I will not and do not pity you, Duo" Trowa stated looking back into the violet pools before him. Trowa couldn't help himself. He bent down and brushed his lips against Duo's.   
  
Duo felt the feather light touch of Trowa's lips on his and immediately responded. Trowa was a little taken aback that Duo had kissed him back and pulled away. 'Wow, Trowa.' Duo thought blocking out the freshly renewed memories of his rape. "Duo I didn't mean to. I couldn't. . ." Trowa trailed off as Duo put his fingers over Trowa's lip. "Shhh. . .its ok. It happens." Duo said getting up. Just then Quatre entered the room.  
  
"Quatre, I wasn't expecting your visit for another two weeks." Trowa said a little flustered. "I decided to come early as a surprise." Quatre said kissing Trowa. Duo looked away from the two. 'Trowa just kissed me and then here comes Quatre to ruin the moment.' Duo thought bitterly. "Hey, Quat-chan!" Duo said cheerily breaking the two from a passionate kiss. "Hey, Duo. What're you doing here?" Quatre asked turning his attention to his best friend. "I. .. uh. . ." Duo didn't know how to answer. "I'll tell you later, Little One." Trowa said quietly to Quatre.   
  
Duo dismissed himself from the two who had gone back to kissing each other, and walked out of the big top. He looked up into the colony sky. The night had set in and the moon was full and in al its beauty was shining bright over the colony. Duo looked up and spoke as he would speak to a father. "Oh, moon, what should I do? Should I stay here with Trowa? Should I leave? Help me, dear moon.' Duo said desperately looking up into the moons cratered face.  
  
~OWARI~  
  
OK I know I need to write more. . .but read and review. . .C&C VERY WELCOME  
  
  



	3. Heero's Loneliness

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Title: Circus Oasis

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Chapter Title: Heero's Loneliness**  
Author: **Goddess Shinigami**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own the G Wing boys, but I do however, own the plot to this story! So lay off!

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Notes: Uhm. . sorry it has taken so long to get out anything new for any of my gundam fics, but I've been sort of preoccupied with Harry Potter fics. So Here I am finally writing a new chapter to Circus Oasis. Oh and by the way my writing style has changed quite a bit, but I promise this will be easier to read than the other was. I won't be fixing the first two chapters, but from here on it will be the same writing style as all my Harry Potter fics. 

Heero sat in his, no their, room, alone. The darkness surrounded him and it made him feel better. It reminded him of Duo. It made him think of Duo and what he had done to him. "I'm a horrible person for what I did to him. I shouldn't have lost my temper. I shouldn't have ever touched him like that. I should die. I should just take myself away so I can never hurt him again." He was telling himself. It was so hard without Duo. Without Duo everything was darkness, the sunshine, the moonshine, his laptop, his heart. It was all so unbearably dark. 

He crossed to the window to look into the dark night. "I bet he's out there, looking at the same moon that's outside my window. Maybe he's wishing he'd never met me. Maybe he shouldn't have." Heero said, a single tear slipping down his cheek. He never could feel before, but now that Duo was gone he felt and it hurt so bad. The pain was more than anything he had ever felt before. 

He walked away from the window and sat down on the bed. "I will go and find him and beg for him to forgive me or a least bestow mercy on me when he kills me. At least he has already taken my heart all that's left is my soul." Heero said putting on his shoes, tying them, and walking out the door. 

Heero walked on the sidewalk for some miles and into downtown. It was going to be hard to find the braided angel, but he was going to use every skill he had to find him. _Jesus, I haven't even thought this through. What if Duo refuses to come back with me. What if he completely hates me for what I did to him? I'll die if he won't come back. _Heero thought miserably. This was just going to be a horrid reunion, if he ever found Duo in the first place. 

He continued to walk down the street. He kept on walking right into the bad part of town. Heero didn't know if he was ever going to find Duo again and if he did what would happen? It was going to be a long search. He kept on walking and came to an alley. Heero looked down it and he saw that a bar lay off to one side. He decided to go in and have a drink to calm his nerves.

Heero walked in and strode up to the bar. He took a seat and waited for the bartender to come to him. He sat there for a few minutes, drumming his fingers on the bar, and casting glances around the place. It was taking the bartender a long time to come over, but what he was going to order was beyond him anyway. 

The bartender finally came his way. " 'Ey, What would you like?" He asked in a gruff, unused voice. It sounded almost as if he had never spoken before that moment. It startled Heero and he gave a little half jump.

Heero looked at the man who was cleaning a glass. He didn't look very sanitary. He thought for a minute, about what he wanted to drink, and then decided, on a whim, to have whatever drink that came out of his mouth. "I'll have a. . .Dark and Stormy. Thanks." He told the man and the bartender looked at him sort of funny. 

The bartender cocked his head to the side slightly. "Ya, know you are the second person in the past week that has order that drink. I think that's the only time I've ever had to make it before. Quite interesting." He told Heero with that same unused, gruff voice. He then walked away to make the Dark and Stormy. 

When the man returned Heero looked at him, silently inquiring. "Who was the other person who ordered this drink? If you could tell me, please?" He asked, his eyes downcast, looking into his drink. 

The man smiled. "Oh he was a pretty one. He had long chestnut hair, in a braid, nice body, dressed all in black, and violet eyes. He didn't give a name, but to some men, two to be exact, he was their 'pretty prince'." The man finished and walked over to another customer, not knowing what kind of information he had actually given out to this boy in spandex. 

Heero glared into his drink. _Duo was here! He had been here and ordered this same drink, but two men? Did he already forget about me? Am I already that far from his beautiful mind?_ Heero asked himself. He couldn't find answers unless he found Duo and he couldn't find Duo if he was sitting here in this bar. He downed his Dark and Stormy and staled out of the bar. He would find Duo and apologize for his behavior no matter what the cost. He had to. Duo was his mission now. His sole mission. 


	4. The Search for Duo

Title: Circus Oasis

Chapter Title: The Search For Duo

Author: Goddess Shinigami

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Wing boys, but I do however, own the plot to this story! So lay off!

Notes: Heh. . .look at me. I'm updating things! I'm making progress! YAY! Heh. . .it's summer so I have time. So, I'll be updating as much as possible! I promise. Since I have a laptop now, I can work on my fics whenever I want and I don't have to worry about other people trying to get on! YAY! *smiles *  Well, on to the story! 

Heero stepped into the alleyway and just stood there for a moment. He knew Duo had been there, but when and which way did he go? Heero slowly glanced up and down the dark alley. It was no different than any other. His eyes scanned every corner ever nook that could be seen from where he was standing, but nothing was to be found. There was no clue to tell Heero which direction to take. 

He began to slowly walk one way, examining the ground and when he got to the end he turned and went down the other. All hope seemed lost until Heero found something at the east end of the alley.  It was one of Duo's hair-ties. He knew because it smelled of Duo's shampoo. So, Heero decided to head east, walking the streets that headed in that direction. He soon came to a circus. He was about to pass by when he glimpsed Trowa and Quatre out of the corner of his eye. He decided to walk over and ask if them if they had seen Duo. 

He walked over and watched the two for a moment. They were sitting together by the fire, talking, but not just talking. Trowa had an arm around Quatre and Quatre lay his head upon Trowa's shoulder. It reminded Heero of how it used to be between he and Duo. How there was so much love between them. How he had ruined it by being a complete asshole. _I can't let this ever happen again. I need Duo. I can't hurt him again._ Heero thought to himself before walking up to the couple. 

Quatre and Trowa looked up as Heero walked over to them. They had a very surprised look on their face. "Heero, what are you doing here?" Trowa asked standing up. 

"I am looking for Duo. Do you know where he is?" Heero asked not knowing that they, too, knew what he had done to Duo. 

The two lovers exchanged a look and then Quatre stood also. "We do, but we will not let you see him. Not after what you did to him; after what you let happen to him. How could you?" He asked, looking upon Heero with contempt, something Quatre usually didn't have. 

  
"You- you know then? You know what I've done? I never wanted to hurt Duo. I love Duo. I just slipped back into war mode and I couldn't control myself. I couldn't keep from hurting him. You have to understand that I didn't want to. I didn't realize what I was doing." Heero pleaded with them. They obviously knew where Duo was. Maybe they would understand. 

Quatre walked over to Heero, sat him down, and looked at his with his usual compassion. "Look, Heero. I know that sometimes the urge to hurt something, to kill something, is there, but you have to try and take it out on something else. Duo is your love. You can't hurt the one you love if you want him to stay around. If he is important to you, you have to respect him, to care for him, and love him back. Do you understand?" He asked searching Heero's eyes for the answer he hoped to see. 

Heero looked back for a few moments. "I love Duo very much and I do understand what you are saying and it does make sense. You are right. I need to find an outlet other than beating up on the one that I love . . . but, what did I **_let_** happen to him? What has happened to Duo?" He agreed and then asked. This Heero did not know. 

Quatre and Trowa exchanged another glance and Quatre let Trowa take that one on since Trowa had all the information and hehad been the one to find him. "After he left you Duo went into a bar. Two men approached him and took him home with them. There they drugged his drinks and after Duo was semi unconscious raped him. Then they brought him back to the alley where they left him. Which is where I found him the next morning and brought him here." Trowa told him. 

Heero balled his fists and clenched his jaw. _How could I let this happen? How could I let my Duo get hurt like this?_ He asked himself angrily. After only a few seconds he started to cry. Trowa and Quatre were shocked. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." He told them as he tried to hold back the tears. 

They sat down next to Heero and started to put their arms around him, but Heero didn't let them. He stood up and crossed his arms defensively. "I don't need you to comfort me. I need to see Duo." He told them with anger still heavy in his voice. 

"Heero, we are not going to let you see him. We can't." Trowa told him calmly. He waited in defense mode because he knew Heero would not agree with that. He knew that if he was told he couldn't see Quatre he would have to kill the person that stood in his way. He knew that Heero would feel the same way. 

Heero just stood there for a minute. He couldn't quite comprehend the concept of not being allowed to see Duo. Once he figured it out anger flashed in his eyes and he started to make a line for Trowa, but then he stopped. _I can't do this. I need Duo back with me. I **need** to change for this to work._ He told himself as he calmed down. 

Quatre stood and walked up to Heero. "Listen, it is not our choice whether you see him or not, although we don't want you to just yet because it has been such a short amount of time. Duo is the one to decide that. We will have to ask him if he wants to see you. Would you like us to?" He asked Heero who was just standing there rather sadly, arms hanging limply at his sides. 

Heero looked up and glanced from Quatre and Trowa and back again. "Will you?" He whispered. They nodded, Trowa quietly stood to join Quatre, and they walked off to search the grounds for Duo leaving Heero standing there in the dark, alone. 

He laid himself down in the grass and looked up at the sky to see the moon. It was beautiful tonight. There was no doubt in Heero's mind that Duo was looking up at that moon at that very same moment. Maybe even talking to it like he always used to. After only two days Heero missed everything Duo brought into his life. He never wanted that to go away again. He wanted his Duo back. His precious violet eyed devil who brought all the light into his world and turned it upside down. Soon it would be back to normal. Soon they would be back together and everything would be like it was when they first fell in love back when they had their first kiss.  

Heero thought of that first kiss. It was back in their dorm. It had been beautiful. It was pure. He closed his eyes and saw it like it was happening all over again. 

~~~~

"Heero, what were you doing?" Duo asked sitting up in his bed gazing curiously at the boy standing in the middle of the room.

Heero stared at him for a second wondering what to say. "I was just. . .I mean you. . .I was going to. . .Can we talk?" He asked evading the question as tactfully as he could possibly think of. 

Duo looked at him suspiciously. "Sure, Hee-chan." Duo patted the spot beside him on the bed.

Heero obediently walked over and sat down. "Well, I've been thinking and. . .well. . .are you. .I mean to say. . .are you attracted to me?" Heero ask looking away from Duo as a blush crept up into his cheeks.

Duo scooted closer to Heero on the bed. " Well, it's time you noticed! God, I've been making passes at you forever!" He exclaimed. Then Duo quieted down. "Why do you ask?" he questioned staying close to Heero. 

Heero turned to look at Duo and found his face only mere centimeters from the other boy's. He was stunned for a minute; he just sat there like a deer in the headlights. What will I do? What can I do? The voice in the back of his head answered for him again. "Just kiss him, baka!" it told him. 

Heero leaned forward and brushed his lips against Duo's. They stayed like that for a moment and then Heero pulled away. Duo's eyes were closed and he opened them slowly, not wanting to wake up if this was a dream. 

"Hee-chan. . .you just. I mean you are! Thank kami!" Duo exclaimed. He jumped at Heero and wrapped his arms around him, knocking them both to the floor. Duo kissed Heero again and again and again. 

"Duo. . .ya think you can let me breathe?" Heero asked looking up at the maniac on top of him. 

Duo just laughed.

~~~~~

Heero smiled at the memory. He still loved Duo as much as he did then. Nothing had changed except he had hurt Duo. Heero still couldn't believe he had lost control so many times and had hurt him so many times. It took Duo leaving to get through to him. To understand how much he loved him. How much he needed him. Heero knew he couldn't go on without Duo. Now, if Duo would only agree to see him. Then maybe he could make it right. Then maybe it could go back to the way it was before. 

*~*~*~*

Okie that is chapter four. I know it's short, but I really was in a hurry to get updated. I'm already working on the next chapter so it shouldn't be too long. *smiles * I love you guys! Thanks so much for reading! 

Goddess Shinigami


	5. Reconciliation

**Title:** Circus Oasis

**Chapter Title:** Reconciliation

**Author:** Goddess Shinigami

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the G Wing boys, but I do however, own the plot to this story! So lay off! nyah nyah! I win. :-P

**Notes:** Wow...Do you realize how long ago I started writing this story? Sheesh. I am a horrible person. Well, you know how people get into and get out of things at times. I kind of had a falling out with my fanfiction writing after I graduated high school, but smiles I'm back. . .at least for a little while anyway. I'm finishing this fic and I will be finishing a couple others and I'm going to try for another chapter of the Duo Maxwell Show. Aren't I ambitious? We'll see. Anyways, to the story!

Trowa and Quatre approached Duo as he stood on a hill, not far from the big top, gazing up at the moon. They walked up quietly and stood next to him. "Hey, Duo." Quatre said, placing a hand on Duo's forearm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Duo looked over at Quatre with a worn expression on his face. "Hey, buddy. I'm sorry you've caught me in the middle of all this, but..." Duo trailed off and shrugged his shoulders.

All three of them stood there, in silence, for a good ten minutes. Trowa looked from Quatre to Duo and then back to the big top a few times before finally deciding to come out with it. "Heero's here, Duo."

Duo grimaced at the statement. "What does **he** want?"

"You." Trowa stated flatly.

"Why the fuck does he want me now? He never wanted me before." Duo spat out, the anger and hurt apparent in his slightly shaking voice. He cradled his arm and looked defensively in the direction of the big top.

Trowa looked to Quatre to try and convey Heero's intentions to Duo. "Well, Duo,... you know how some people just don't realize how much they have until they've lost it?" Quatre ventured.

Duo looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, I suppose."

"That's how Heero is feeling right now. He loves you very much Duo, I can see it, but that doesn't make up for what he has done to you." Quatre turned Duo around, so that he could look into his eyes. "It is **your** decision as to whether you see him or not. Understand that, ok?"

Duo rolled his eyes slightly and shook his head. "Not really. If Heero wants to see me and I decline then he will just come to me. He can be pretty damn persistent." He tugged on the end of his braid nervously and chewed the in side of his cheek.

Trowa and Quatre both looked at the braided God of Death, worried. "Duo, you know you have all the time in the world. We will do whatever we have to do to keep him from you if you do not wish to see him now. You have my solemn word on that." Trowa told him, knowing that Duo wouldn't even consider not seeing Heero.

Duo stared off toward the moon with a questioning look in his eyes. After a few minutes he lowered his head and turned to walk to the big top. "I'm going." He told the two still standing on the hill. "Where will I find him?" Duo asked before getting out of earshot.

"He's in Trowa's dressing room." Quatre replied, the worried expression still settled on his soft countenance.

Duo walked off in that direction thinking to himself. _I don't know what I am going to say. I can't even begin to tell him how hurt I am; how damaged we are. How afraid I am that I won't be able to be with him. How I know that I love him more than I could love anyone. How I ..._ His thoughts trailed off and he decided that it would be better to just let Heero do the talking. Duo really shouldn't have to say anything.

As Duo rounded the corner Heero came into sight. He was pacing the room, an unfamiliar expression displayed on his face. Duo couldn't quite place it as he knocked on a support pole near the entrance to announce his presence. "You wanted to see me?" He asked nonchalantly.

Heero looked up, slightly relieved. "I...I didn't think you'd come." He stammered, averting his eyes.

"Don't be foolish, Heero. I know you better than anyone. Had I not come you would have come to me. It was fruitless." Duo sounded bitter, but he had a right to be. Heero didn't look phased.

"Duo, I..." He didn't know where to start. Duo was staring him down from across the room, waiting. "Duo...I don't want you to think this is like before." Duo opened his mouth to give a retort, but Heero cut him off. "I know I've hurt you many times and I've apologized many times, but that's not what this is." He paused.

Duo glared at him, disbelieving. "Cut to the chase Prince Charming."

Heero winced. _Did I really do that? Did I cause these feelings? Oh, God, Duo...I'm so sorry._ He thought, choosing his words carefully. "I want you to know that I was wrong-"

Duo **did** cut him off this time. "Damn straight!"

"SHUT UP, DUO!" Heero was getting angry now. Duo wasn't letting him do what he came here to do.

No sooner had the command come from Heero's lips was Duo cowering near the dressing table, bracing for the blow he was sure would come. Heero's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't realized that it went that deep, that even the sound of his voice could cause such fear in his violet-eyed angel. He slowly stepped over to where Duo was, placing a hand on his shoulder. Duo flinched away and Heero backed into the chair sitting in front of the table. He buried his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Duo. I never wanted this for you. I never meant...I couldn't control myself. I love you, Duo- I'm sorry-I love you." Tears filled his eyes, threatening to spill over and when Heero blinked, they did just that.

Duo looked up, realizing that he wasn't going to be hit. Heero was crying. "Don't be sorry for loving me. I love you, too, Heero, but..." He slumped to the floor and leaned against the dressing table. "...but I can't- I can't live in fear like this. You've damaged us. Our relationship is in shatters on the floor and I don't even know where to begin to put it back together." Duo let out a long sigh and closed his eyes.

Heero slid to the floor across from Duo and took his hand. Duo looked away, but let his hand stay in Heero's. "Can I start here?" He asked, looking down at the porcelain hand that rested in his. "I don't expect everything to go back to the way it was when we first got together, but I want to make my way back to that place. I miss it, Duo, and I can't begin to tell you how **truly** sorry I am for causing you so much pain. I am going to go into some anger management thing. I promise, Quatre could probably direct me to somewhere good. I never want to hurt you again." Heero placed a soft kiss on the back of Duo's hand before looking up to see Duo's reaction.

Heero's eyes were pleading. Duo had never seen that before. He was sure this was genuine. "One condition." Duo said quietly, giving Heero's hand a squeeze.

Those cobalt eyes stopped pleading and lit up light a christmas tree in Time's Square. "Anything, Duo. Anything." He breathed through half parted lips.

"Throw the laptop out. I won't be second to a machine. I won't be jealous of it anymore." Duo said resolutely, his jaw firmly set. He wasn't going to accept anything less than that.

Heero stared at the braided boy for a moment. "You were really jealous of that?"

"Well, how could I not be? You never hit it and it always got more attention than I did." Duo said truthfully.

"Whatever you want, Duo. Consider it gone." Heero leaned forward and captured Duo in a hug. "I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive, but now I only waste it dreaming of you, Duo. I thought I couldn't live without my laptop and the missions, but I know that you're my mission now. I love you." He couldn't stop himself. He continued to express to Duo how much he loved him, how much he wanted to take back what he had done, and how much he wanted to be with Duo for the rest of his life.

Duo looked up into Heero's eyes as he captured his lips in a soft, loving kiss. When the kiss ended he licked his lips, smiling. "I haven't had that in so long. I'm glad we're going to work on this, Heero." Tears formed at the corners of Duo's eyes and made paths down his face. "It might take a while, but we will be the old Duo and Heero, again." He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning his head on Heero's shoulder. "Oh, Heero...?" Duo questioned, getting back to himself.

"Yes, Duo?" Heero raised an eyebrow.

"I might have kissed Trowa." Duo winced a little.

"You- you what?" Heero gaped.

"Well...I was having nightmares and...uhm" Duo started to sweat. "Uhm...I woke up and he sort of brushed his lips over mine and I sort of kissed him back. That's all." He shrugged hoping it would be ok.

Heero stared at Duo. "Why would you---" He sighed. "I can't blame you." He leaned forward and kissed Duo, again. "I will just have to try to put that kiss from your memory with more kisses." Heero smirked and scooted closer to Duo on the floor.

Duo started laughing. "You are such a dork, Heero!"

Quatre and Trowa had been listening from the other side of the tented wall and they smiled. Trowa waited for a scolding, but it didn't come and he decided to apologize. "Quatre, I didn't plan to kiss him, you know. It just happened." He looked down at his feet.

"I know, Trowa." Quatre smiled. "I watched you kiss him."

Trowa gaped at the little blond like a fish out of water. "...and you didn't stop me?"

"Why would I have? It was a sweet gesture. Kisses can be so comforting and I know you have eyes for me only." Quatre winked at the taller man and smiled his sweetest smile.

Trowa tousled Quatre's hair and smiled. "You have a point. So, what is your prediction on those two back there?"

"They might be ok, yet, Trowa." Quatre whispered as they walked away.

"Yeah, it will be a long road for both of them, but, yes, I think they are going to be just fine." Trowa stated as he looked up to the sky. The moon almost looked as if it was hiding a smile, but Trowa convinced himself that he was just happy for his friends and pulled Quatre close hugging him in the silvery light.

So ends another one of my fics. I know, it literally took me years to do this one, but do you think it turned out ok? Tell me, guys.

Goddess Shinigami


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